I Hate you, I Love you I Hate that I Love you
by Kuro-Moyashi
Summary: These are short stories around the GrayNatsu pairing. You can read them seperatly or one after the other :) Evolution of the relationship between them. Trying to picture their personalities the best I can. K rating for now. Contains coarse language. May change to T rating later !


This is an anthology of short stories around the Gray Natsu pairing. You can read them separately but the stories follow themselves. Hope you enjoy ! Mostly Gray POV.

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 **Chapter 1 :Where is Natsu ?**

So many years being member in Fairy Tail Guild, Gray didn't even think about the road he walked from his house to get to the guild's building, just as he didn't think when he stripped away to feel the cool air on his skin. Some things were just so usual they were unconscious to him. Therefore, as many other mornings before, after getting dress, closing the door, making sure he still had clothes on and leaving, he happily walked through the city toward his real Home, Fairy Tail's head quarter. When he arrived, he managed to remind himself not to strip away and get breakfast at the counter.  
« Hello Mira, how're your today ? » he said to the bartender as he usually did before adding « coffee and pancakes, please . »  
« Hi, Gray ! It's a beautiful day isn't it ? I'll be right there. » answered Mirajane before turning round to get the ice mage breakfast.  
As he always did, Gray turned on his seat to look around at his guild-mates. He never was the first to arrive so there always was quite some animation already. Still, it seemed that today Fairy Tail was a lot more quiet then usual.  
Mirajane served breakfast and, as Gray thanked her, he asked what was happening today.  
« Well, the girls are on a trip at the magical therms near Onibas, remember ? Juvia, Erza, Cana, Levy and Lucy aren't here for the week. Isn't that exciting for her ? » Her tone was soft and kind, as always.  
« Yeah, I know that, but, what's with the silence ? Seems weird. » Gray gulped a big sip of his warm coffee.  
« Well, now that you say that… It's true that the guild is that calm only when Natsu is off on a mission, but he hasn't noticed me he's leaving. And I haven't seen him yesterday either. »  
« Ah ? Hm... » Gray pretended to look away as if he didn't care about the dragonslayer, but in truth, it was strange. Natsu spent his entire time at the guild, at Lucy's or on a mission. The pink-head even came to the guild just to sleep in a corner sometimes. Gray would show to everyone else that he noticed the fire mage only when this one was obnoxiously loud but, in truth, he knew a lot about him. He especially knew that the dragonslayer of fire hated loneliness. He also knew that he was mostly loud when he wanted to draw attention, any attentions.  
« ...What do you think ? » Mirajane's voice seemed to come from afar.  
« Oh, sorry Mira, I wasn't hear. What did you say ? »  
The Take Over mage seemed hurt by Gray's rudeness for a little second, but she knew that, despite appearance he carefully built for himself, Gray was a dreamer.  
« I said that it is strange not to see Natsu and maybe someone should go look after him. What do you think ? » she gently repeated. Mirajane was queen of passive-aggressive and how to tell you to do something just by suggesting it. Gray knew that the « someone » she mentioned was him and what he thought about it didn't matter. Still, to save the appearances of his cool and somewhat dark attitude, he shrugged and answered by a simple « Yeah, I guess ».

The Ice Mage finished his breakfast as if the Master's most trusted help wasn't pressing him to go find Natsu. He got up, leaving money on the counter and walked away in a cool attitude he had secretly repeated in his mirror. _« Okay, let's go see the salamander at his place. »_ He thought once he stepped out of the guild but immediately after, he felt damn stupid. Indeed, he had no idea where Natsu lived and so he had to go back inside and ask Mirajane for the address, completely breaking character and showing to everyone that, despite what he wanted them to see, he cared about the dragonslayer. He could read the amusement in Mirajane's smiled as she wrote down the address fo him.

Gray surprised himself to not know where Natsu lived. It was true that he himself didn't spend a lot of time at home and that Lucy's place was mostly where their team would meet outside of the guild. Still, he remembered clearly that Erza lived at the girl's dorm and that Natsu had already set foot in his own living room once or twice. He even questioned if Lucy knew where the pink head lived. What could his place look like?  
Funnily enough, he imagined something similar to his own place: A sort of bachelor flat in which very few decoration efforts had been put in but where, with time, furniture, paintings and other objects had finally made their way to create a natural ambiance.  
He couldn't picture Natsu spending time painting the walls or choosing cushions and curtens in a furniture store. Gray did it very occasionally when he felt the need to but, Natsu was Natsu. For some strange reason, he imagined several possibility of what a Salamander's house would look like. At some point, he had completely idealized Natsu's flat, turning his friend into the perfect house keeper.  
After all, Natsu was full of surprises and his address was located in one of Magnolia's nicest suburbs. It wasn't in the center of the town like Lucy but it was still a calm and enjoyable spot to live into. Houses and vegetation nicely coexisted and despite being sometimes close together, the habitations kept quite a lot of privacy. Gray could easily picture himself leaving here, but he couldn't afford the time to maintain such places.

Gray gave a last look at Mirajane's scribbled paper with the address. Natsu lived in number 7 and he was passing by number 5. The next house had to be Natsu's.  
Upon arriving, Gray wasn't surprised but still disappointed. Of all he had imagined, what he saw was actually the most likely: Natsu had a tiny house that could clearly use some repairs. No wonder he spent most of his time at the guild or at Lucy's. One door, one widow, a slate roof that lost a few tiles and cracks in the walls. No chimney, no pots near the house, no garden except wild weeds invading the stone path to the door.  
Gray sighed. Why was he expecting anything different from the destroying dragonslayer ? And why was he disappointed with his friend ? He shook his head and decided to knock on the door.  
"Oi! Natsu? Happy? Are you there?" he did not expect any response, the place looked calm. To his surprise, a small, plaintive, high-pitched voice came from the inside.  
"Graaay!" Happy slammed the door open and threw himself in the ice mage chest.  
"Happy?! 'you okay?" The poor cat seemed exhausted : his wings were twitching in tiredness, big dark circle under the eyes, the fur was tangled and lost all of it's shine. He had never seen Happy in such bad shape. "What happened ?" he asked, holding the cat in his arms, allowing his friend to rest a little.  
Little tears started to pearled into the cat's round eyes, tearing Gray's heart. Happy was Happy, the flying cat might be annoying and as obnoxious as Natsu but everybody in the guild held him in their hearts and seeing Happy cry was terrible.  
"It's Natsu… He's ill. I don't know, I tried but he won't wake up! I wanted to get help but I can't leave him alone…" The little voice was trembling in guilt and self-pity. _"Poor thing..."_ Gray thought. "It's okay" he said "I'm here, it's okay." he couldn't stand the distress of his little friend.  
Letting himself in, he discovered Natsu Dragneel's interior. It was at the image of the outside. Untidy and damaged. A few clothes were hanging here and there, in the corner, a dried out plant in an attempt to decorate. Two pieces of furniture : A cubed and a chair. A small green carpet on the floor and in the middle of the room one single hammock in which Natsu was curled up with only his pants on, even his beloved scarf was on the floor.  
Gray was surprised to see that the room had no personality, not even reflecting Natsu's taste for destruction. This was a room to sleep in and store items, but nothing more. It felt weird to enter this place knowing it was his friend's house.

Gray was struck by how hot it was in there, despite the window wide open. A smell of illness accompanied the heatwaves.  
The ice mage got closer to his friend, still holding the blue cat in his arms. The closer he got the hotter it felt. He didn't even have to touch Natsu to feel that the man was burning up.  
It could seem normal that Natsu was burning hot, and he usually was. Gray knew it because of how close they usually were but this was way more than normal, he bet he could cook an egg on his friend's skin.  
Natsu's cheeks were flushed red and his expression was one of suffering. Deeply lost into sickness, he didn't respond to Gray's shaking and calling.  
"He is like that since yesterday, you won't wake him up, I tried everything!" cried Happy.  
" _At least, it explains the claw marks on his arm..."_ thought Gray. "Listen, I stay and you go get one of the hospital's doctor specialized in magic illnesses. I'll take care of him." He promised to the cat.  
"Aye ! But I used most of my mojo, I'll have to run most of the way." And on these words, Happy flew out of the room, clearly having trouble maintaining his wings. It was obvious the cat hadn't sleep since yesterday.

Gray took the chair in the corner of the room, pushed the clothes on it to the floor and installed himself near the dragonslayer. He hadn't realized he had already stripped of his clothes.  
The ice mage couldn't do much, but cooling things down was his specialty. He placed his hands just above Natsu's chest and sent ice magic to cool the whole body down. Natsu shivered but his expression of pain eased a bit.  
 _"Anyone else would have died of such a fever"_ thought the ice mage _"thank god you are so resistant..."_ Even in his mind it was hard to admit these words. Off course he didn't want his comrade to die and off course he cared. But acknowledging how much he actually cared was difficult. He had always saw Natsu as his rival, sometimes thinking he hated the guy. Admitting, even to himself, that Natsu was his best friend was heartbreaking, but he wouldn't have to if the situation was not dire.  
Gray felt his throat tighten and his eyes stinging a little. _"Damn you..."_. He let his forehead fall into the pink, surprisingly soft, spiky hair. "Don't you dare die, you bastard..." he whispered to his friend, retaining his tears. Crying wouldn't help and wouldn't relieve him.  
"Gray..." Natsu whispered unconsciously. "Mo… More..." He mumbled as he turned his head towards the ice mage's face, their noses slightly brushing together.  
The Ice Maker's cheeks flushed red and he threw himself back, looking down at suffering Natsu.  
He injected more mojo through his hands and observed the dragonslayer's face to catch how he reacted to the ice magic.

When did he… become a man ? Strangely enough, this was the moment Gray realized Natsu had grown and matured. He wasn't seeing the loud kid whom he grown up with anymore, but the young man who's beard hadn't been shaved in two days, who's jaws were scare and who's arms were strong enough to protect the ones he loved. When had he changed so much ? Why could he only see it now ? Did himself grow up this way too and could Natsu see it or would they always be the two loud orphans to each other ?  
It was the first time that Gray could really observe Natsu in this way.  
"Gray..." The dragonslayer's face twitched in suffering as he complained.  
Gray understood and swallowed back his unwillingness. Natsu needed cold, so he was going to give it to him. He clumsily climbed into the hammock behind Natsu. He didn't have to hold him to be pressed against the fire mage. When he was relatively comfortably installed, he let his whole body diffuse his ice mojo.  
Natsu was burning hot and it wasn't nice to be pressed against him in this way, at first. Gray had to produce enough cold to cool himself and his friend at the same time, it will be exhausting. Nevertheless, it worked, Natsu's temperature was lowering and his face showed a much calmer expression.  
" _No one must know about this, ever !"_ Thought the ice mage, looking down into the pink mess that was his friend's hair. Pressed against the dragonslayer in this way, bare skin against bare skin…  
He would have done it for any of his friends, hell, for anyone who needed it, but it _had_ to be Natsu… The one person he hated to love.  
Why was it like that between them ? Beside the rivalry, they had actual common points and were able to enjoy each others' company.  
Gray's heart was conflicted about Natsu. Why did they keep they childhood bickering going on ?  
Natsu's hair were tickling his nose.  
True, Natsu and him enjoyed fighting and bickering at each other.  
But this siutation was, strangely enough, quite enjoyable… Natsu's manly stature was enjoyable. The scent of his hair… Natsu's warmth was like no others, and Gray was appreciating it, despite not wanting to.  
Despite everything he couldn't admit, being close Natsu this way was nice.  
Blushing in timidness and embarrassment, the ice maker couldn't help himself from putting an arm around Natsu's chest and, after much hesitation, pressing a small kiss in his friend's neck.  
"What the hell I am doing ?!" he wanted to slap himself. Kissing Natsu ? Just these two words couldn't exist in the same sentence !

Confused with himself and taking back control of his mind and body, Gray decided to just roll out of the hammock, falling tho the hard floor. It hurt but it woke him up from his reveries. What the hell was he doing ? Kissing and curling Natsu… _**Natsu**_ !  
If Gray could be like Virgo and dug into the ground to bury himself, he would have done it.  
At least, no one saw them but he could never forget nor forgive his stupidity. What was wrong with him ?  
He stayed for a few minutes on the floor, forehead against the tiles, realizing that he had done everything that he had done. It was him, it was real. It wasn't a bad dream. _Why ? Oh god, why ?_

"Gray ? What are you doing on the floor ?" Happy's voice.  
"I.. ! It's colder on the tile ! I can't stand the heat !" He lied, throwing himself up on his feet.  
The cat was followed by Mr. Wang, the hospital's specialized doctor who knew Gray and Natsu very well since they were kids. "Doctor ! Thanks for coming so quick ! Natsu's in bad shape, I cooled him down as I could."  
"Hm.. !" Mr. Wang shook his head. "No problem. And it seems you had the good idea." The doctor installed himself near Natsu, taking out his tool kit. "This looks like the Red Fever but I'm going to take care of him from now. You have to stay, if it is indeed Red Fever, I have to examine you too for any trace of contamination."  
"Oh, okay." Gray said with his low voice, sitting on the chair to look cool and relaxed even thought his heart was pounding with embarrassment and secretiveness.  
It would explain everything, this fever, the way he acted and the heat he had felt against Natsu.  
"Please put your clothes back one while I examine your friend." The doctor added, making Happy puff in laughter and breaking Gray's built attitude. At least the blushing and clumsiness could be explained by his unwanted nudity.

After an hour, Gray was free to go, Natsu was indeed ill but Gray had no trace of Red Fever, surely because of the ice magic he produced killed any chance for the illness to grow on him.  
The whole day had past and he decided to go directly home and not at the guild. He had enough for today and just wanted to be alone in his bed. What an idiot he was… Next time, Mirajane could go check on the firefly herself !  
At least one good thing had come out of all his own suffering: Happy was happy again, and thanked Gray with all his heart, even offering him some fish. Gray gently declined and told him that it was normal; and it was true. But at this point all he wanted was to flee. "What a day… I should have stayed in bed this morning." he sighed for himself.  
Two days later, the girls were back and Natsu was healed.  
As always, Gray had woke up, got dressed, left his house, checked he was still dressed, and went to Fairy Tail's head quarters for breakfast.  
He greeted the girls, asking her how was their trip and enjoying small talk with coffee and pancakes. He was glad Mirajane hadn't ask too many questions about Natsu and was content with the minimum information. Sometimes the white head could be a real gossip girl.  
Erza and Lucy told him they were proud he got over the rivalry to help a friend in need, Erza then giving an unwanted speech about comrades and helping each other.  
"Juvia can't stand it ! Juvia needs to be ill so that Gray-sama comes to take care of her at the dorm ! She hates Natsu !" said Juvia fantasizing everything about Gray.  
"Please, stop..." Gray asked, already tired and embarrassed of her jealousy. The romanced idea of what happened reminded him that she wasn't so far from the truth.  
At least it made Lucy and Levy laugh.  
Today seemed like a normal day and things were back the way they should be. After all, maybe this whole "Natsu is ill" story was only a bad day and the Red Fever affected him a strange, unknown, way. At least he could put it behind and act like nothing happened, no one knew what he did and no one had to know.

"I'm back !" the doors slammed opened with fire sparkles as Natsu entered the guild. He was greeted by everyone, telling him they were happy that he was back on foot, but that he didn't have to break the doors. As always, the dragonslayer yelled back at anyone who made reflections at the way he entered the place and waved back to the greetings.  
Natsu, followed by flying Happy, walked towards the counter. "Hi everyone! Mirajane, I'm starving !" He greeted the girls before laying eyes on Gray. The ice maker frowned, as usual, ready to bounce back any verbal attack from Natsu.  
To his surprise, the pink-head blushed and looked on the side as he walked towards him. "Gray… Th.. Thank you !" He shouted it out as if he was pissed with the ice mage. "O… Oi ! Don't say it like you were forced to !" Growled Gray. "I am grateful !" Natsu shouted back angrily "Will you take a "thank you" or not ? Frozen pants !"  
"I am taking your "thank you" ! That's the least you could do ! I lost a whole day because of you, stupid lizard face !" Gray got up, pissed of by Natsu's attitud.  
"Are they really fighting over a thanking?" Lucy whispered to Levy, half amused half spitefull. -  
"Say that again ?! Pervert ! Go get some pants on !" Natsu shouted back, showing his fist to Gray.  
"Woah!" Gray hadn't realized he stripped off again. What an idiot he was, thinking things would be weird between him and Natsu.  
The ungrateful brat just acted like nothing happened. Didn't he remember anything ?! He wanted to punch him in the face for not knowing what trouble Gray had been through because of him.  
"Asshole ! You can die next time !" Shouted the ice maker before throwing his fist into Natsu's face, sending him in the tables behind.

"You fucking sad puppy eyes…!" Natsu got back to his feet, jumping back at Gray to kick him in the torso.

And there it started again, as it always did, they just couldn't stand each other. Erza quickly stopped the fight before they made anymore damages.  
Still, Gray stayed in a foul mood all day after that. _"Why am I like that ? It is exactly like usual, which I wanted it to be. So why I am… angry at him ?"_ Maybe he unconsciously wanted Natsu to remember what had happen. Maybe what happened itself changed the way things were between them.  
What he couldn't see was what Happy was observing: Every time Natsu turned his head to Gray and that the ice maker looked back at him, Natsu became irritated and either looked away or showed his fist in a daring motion. It wasn't that unusual, but Natsu seemed more aware of Gray and more edgy with him then normal. Happy didn't understand, didn't Gray helped Natsu ? Why are they acting weirder today ? Anyways, the cat soon forgot about it as lunchtime came along with promises of fresh fish ! Aye !

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Taddaaa ! Hope you enjoyed this little story. Only suggesting things for now :) Tell me if you liked it, if you can see grammar mistakes (english is not my first language) and if you want the next story !


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